夢。妳

夢里 見妳

心

依然悸动

依然激动

夢里 的妳

灿烂的笑容

往日依旧

思念依旧

夢里 听妳

說着着他

心

还会心碎

Bokeh Visualization . Wedges

Struggling for few hours on how to get the donut chart label probably on the wedges.

Finally just realized it is math problem to get the coordinate of x and y. Damn me. 

該。沉。着

我在想

我所想的

却又怀疑

我想的

我說着

我想說的

却又不知

我說的

呆呆的

呆呆着

想着想的

說着想的

我想

我說着的

或許

不是想着的

或許

不是想說的

或許

該沉着

該。沉。着。

花

不。记

不该记得那些忘记的，而该活出那些记得的。

生活，尤其年纪越大，经历的事越多，很多事也逐渐忘记。忘记了忘记的事，却又记得忘记了。

其实，既然会忘记了，那事一定不重要，不然必会想起来。所以耿耿于怀忘记的事，也于事无补。

不如，就为记得的事，忙，干下去。

累。泪

累，但不泪

一肚火

Trees and flowers are hardly friend with me,   most the time hardly able to grow them.

I spend time in learning, understand and be friend with them. For the 2nd time,  only then seeing the sunflowers are growing,  tallest and tallest, and yet a colleague just killed them because planting pandan leaves tree.

There are so many empty spot,  just because of taking advantage on spot that have been cleaned by me,  killed all the sunflowers.

If I wasn't calm,  with my tamper,  many f-words have already been out. I tolerated in the last time, kept silent,  but this time,  no more.

I am not talk active,  but doesn't mean I am harmless!

Say hi

Hi, 简单一声，百感交集

Words-less

https://youtu.be/-SWE_OMSruo

Left hand . Right Hand

总是觉得自己左手写的字体不好看，所以学用右手写，写出不一样的风格

https://youtu.be/lD5jhtkVuOY

Am I broken

https://youtu.be/GimB2WPxvqE

Sewing

很久没缝了。破了，原本想穿到烂就丢了。

All I want

https://youtu.be/mtf7hC17IBM

妳。离开

一个人 还在
一颗心 还在
灼热的心 都在

雨 滴过
冷风 过
都带不走 思念

时间 来看我
不曾安慰 匆匆离去
思念 来袭我
妳
没离开过

Python . Question

How to run programs in GPU?

How to run programs in multi threading and multi processing?

How to switch between CPU and GPU?

聚会

欢笑的背后 都是心酸。微笑的脸孔 流着泪水。

Missing what

Bokeh ah bokeh, I beh tahan liao lah.

To draw an interactive graph,  it is easier with one or two widgets button without changing the source or replot. But when chart's source changed, and charts are being redraw,  oh my....

I am stuck and stuck.

What am I missing up

Life

Life just miserable,  lost,  uncertain,  and no direction.

But I am alive. I have too. I need too.

落魄

覆水难收，不能回头，也没尽头。

3 days

3 days to go.

I will be and am missing you.

惆怅的日子

思念的心，思念的心情，思念在我心中的妳。很快的又要过一个星期了，很快的下星期要到了，很快的妳要离职了。很辛苦的，惆怅的，日子。

信息

Everything happens for reason, eventhough the outcomes may not favourable, but it bring some messages to us.

过去的星期是担心的。突然的事故。

Neural Prediction

Learning with pain. Picked some example to follow, but accidentally set train data near to 3 million dataset, killing the laptop.

First must understand the dataset size.

Second, to set train, val, and test dataset, make sure not so big size dataset.

DVR NVR HVR

There is different between NVR and DVR, or HVR.

Most of the people when talk about IP camera, they thought you were referring to wired IP camera, which normally would introduce you to NVR, network video recorder.

But I prefer wireless IP camera, less wiring needed, especially when come long distance between outdoor CCTV point to DVR.

Bought 2 units of this unbranded DVR,  one unit ok, the other unit only able power on one time and then no more display. Damn!

Now got to find another unit DVR, and 3 more outdoor wireless IP camera CCTV.

Family, need to be safe,  only then I can be far away working and no worry.

Thanos vs Theano

I like Thanos, he is ambitious and goal focus.

I like Theano too,  to manipulate data and give neural output.

Work as life, life is work too.

曾经。未来。现在

我忘记了曾经的自己，因为对他没有怀念。
我不期待未来的自己，因为对他没有概念。
我越看着现在的自己，却只有更多的悬念。

sakit gigi

while waiting python program to run...

the last time i went to dentist was....during primary school, the last memory i have.

the last time i removed tooth was....airhhhhh..search item not found. not remember at all if i did that before.

pain come and go, and come back after few months.

牙痛，想拔掉， 但懒惰去牙医， 听说拔一颗牙要200快， 还是算了。忍一忍， 慢慢就过了， 还可以摇一摇牙，摇多几次， 一定会脱的。

Learning Learning and Learning

decode 4 million geo-hash, big mistake. learning something new...coordinate, lat and long can be hashed / encoded.

离。愁

She is leaving, he is leaving.

生活里，我们总要面对很多的离别，但即使次数多了，也不会而因此变成麻木，只会有更多忧愁。

离开，为了追求更好的。而还在坚守岗位的人，就会莫名悲伤和迷惑。

今日一别，不会知道下次见面是何时了。每个人都有自己的生活要忙，要过。

Good bye, all the best.

Focus

Focus focus focus on the solutions to challenges

Bullshitting does not help, complaining does not help. Crying does not help.

You are alone. To solve or to run.

Putain!

When everything is just falling apart! Putain!Putain! Merde! Shit! shit! shit! fuck! 干!

Everything is not working as desired! Everything gives problems! Everything just hates me!

Run out of energy, run out of patient, run out of time!

Shit me! Fuck me! Damn me! Putainnnnnnn!

Sunflower

Sunshine,  elegant 

Lonely

”世界上有一种孤独，不是没有人陪你，而是陪你的那个人，根本不懂你。-林夕

"This world has one kind of lonely, is not that you are not with someone, but the someone that with you, don't know you at all". By Lin Xi (Albert Leung)

Who is the killer

Actually saw this in Chinese version in fb, and then search for the English version. Chinese version is bit different that it does not ask the 2 questions as in English version, rather just asking for who is the killer.

It took me few hours thinking of the solutions, went thru and redo few versions of my solutions. But I don't think there is definite solution to this.

Solution.

Considered the facts that: 2 people are lying while the other one is telling the truth, known one of them is murderer,  the person whom lies does not make him a murderer and the order of statement is irrelevant.

Considered the case where 1st suspect is telling the truth, then 2nd and 3rd are lying. This matched the facts, letting 2nd and 3rd suspects are possible killer.

Considered the case where 2nd suspect is telling the truth, then 3rd suspect is the killer and he is lying. But 1st suspect is not killer and he is telling the truth, then this does not match the required condition where "2 people are lying". This concludes that 2nd suspect can't be telling the truth.

Considered the case where 3rd suspect is telling the truth, then 1st suspect is the murderer and he is lying, and also 2nd suspect is lying eventhough he is innocent. This matched the condition.

To answer the first question.

If police is already known who is the killer after the statements, then only the case where 3rd suspect is telling the truth give the best match. This means 1st suspect is the murderer.

The case where 1st suspect is telling the truth does not give definite answer of who is murderer, only possible murderer, so it is out.

But in the case where police known one of them is the murderer,  but not sure who, then the answer to the question is 1st suspect is telling the truth or 3rd is telling the truth.

To answer 2nd question.

In the case considered that only 3rd suspect is telling the truth, then 100% 1st suspect is the murderer.

In the case considered that 1st suspect is telling truth or 3rd suspect is telling the truth, then probability of murderer is 1st suspect has 50%, 2nd suspect has 25% and 3rd suspect has 25%.

疗愈

种植花花草草，除了美之外，香之外，其实也是疗愈自己心灵。

有时心累了，烦恼了，动手除除草，修修花树，让自己慢下来，让心情平复。

人啊!多忧愁，多烦恼，而解决的速度又比产生的慢，所以啊！要给自己寻找疗愈的方法。

疗愈，才能放下。

Headache

Headache, 头痛的事。

CCTV, IP Cam, 1080p? 2MP? Onvif support?  Price?!!

Works, how to break each n-columns as a group and save as new row? Looping?

天天都更好

My destiny, alone

I have whatsoever no right, ruining other people life, especially to the people I like, I care and I love.

Stop doing thing that i am not confident on delivering.

Be Dumb

Most the time after work, have dinner and shower, I prefer be dumb. Just playing some brainless games, or watch some entertainment shows, laughing and forget it thereafter, or read some books, or even better just lay down on chair and do nothing at all.

Some time it is just to scary to think: the future, the money, career and blah blah blah.

Just brainless for few hours and go to sleep. Wake up and it is another day.

Life, Am I..?

Life is full with questions, doubts and frustrations.

Am I in the best for her? How do I guarantee able to give what she wants? Yes I will give the best I have, but the best that I have is it the best for her. I know I will be better and better, but is it enough?

Love, is not game, it is commitment, it is life time commitment. I want my partner has the best in her life, but can I be the one giving it?

Works, I forced myself take up responsibilities to do, so that keep learning things. But I am struggling, not happy with results. I need to be faster on getting works done, but some time takes me few days to solve a problem. I don't like it.

I don't know is my future, even I build it steps by steps, I think. While seeing friends are married, have children, or some even divorced, the worrying part, but what am I doing?

I am not person chasing name or be materialistic, preferring to live in simple life, have family, children's and partner, but...can I?

Just hope I don't think and think and think. It is scary, the more I think, the more I am worrying, and the more I doubt myself.

I need a hug, telling me, everything will be ok.

5.1 Labour Day

五一劳动节，假日，就是要劳动身体的时候。

平时工作只是劳动脑，但久了，有再好的脑，没有健康的身体支撑着，也无用之地。

Love, As It Is

We don't find reason why we love someone, because, love as it is.

爱，不需要理由，只要爱。

☹

I was on the phone, I was on office, I was driving, I was eating, I was walking, I was in every way, and i was sad and sorrow.

For many years, was part of my life, and now it come to end.

失落

雨天，过后，天晴。是否，还有，勇气?

End Game

It is the end of journey, may not to all, but for some.

演唱会

人生里的第四场演唱会，罗大佑。

m.a.r.y.a.n.n

Mengapalah
Aku ni
Rindukan kau
Yang sungguh sungguh
Aku telah lama
Nanti
Nantikan

阳光

妈

30多年前的一天，雨天，雷电交加。闪电随着水井的水喉，奔驰到家里。我被电了一下，眼前漆黑了一会。妈，脚电到，受伤了。

30多年来，那是一个怎样的熬过，我无法知道。每一次见到，都是心痛。

妈，很坚强。家里，孩子，和责任，是她的推动力吧。我也想对她說佩服她，想对她說她很坚强。但，如果可以选择，谁又要这样的佩服这样的坚强。这，是无奈。

下雨了

下雨了 下雨了

听听雨滴的声音 闻闻雨水的味道 忘记烦恼

今夜 下雨了

安静

不问 不是不关心
不理 不是不在乎

好吗

见到妳 却没能拥抱妳
想念妳 却不能对妳說
妳 好吗

槟岛之恋

槟城两天一夜游。

喜欢这。多年前来时，也曾留意过这店，但就从来没进去过。也许，不想破坏那美好的想像吧

清明。2019

团聚。乐

和家人团聚，是最开心的事，尤其是平常少见的。

以前年轻时，觉得和家人在一起没什么，就在一起咯。但自从有家人离世后，尤其是爸爸，然后外婆，然后舅舅，连续三年，离开，感触深。

人与人见到面，不是必然的，也不会是永恒的。会在刹那间，突然不在了。可以不吵架的，能忍下来的，只要大家高高兴兴在一起，就算了。

Move Forward

When there was problem and passed to support team to check, 2 hours later came back with explanation of "maybe because of the condition A that causing it does not work properly".

Well, 2 hours ago, it just took me 2 minutes verified that "condition A" wasn't the cause and it took 2 hours for someone to told me "maybe" it was the cause. What would I think?

Either the person thought that I was stupid or the person has work attitudes problem. 2-hour to only came out with "maybe" that I had already solved within 2 minutes?

Everyone can do his or her job well, it is matter of attitude. From time to time, I watch and evaluate people: who can be count on, who will try to fool me with excuses, who I don't put hope on that person. Everyone can't be the same, has different abilities and knowledges, but the work qualities are all depending to personal attitudes.

Some people tend to complain a lot, "so many things to do, how to multitasking!" But what fascinating is, ironically,  those people are multitasking personal stuffs at the same time while working, for long long hours. Umhhhh...can't multitasking?

The very basic and fundamental toward work qualities is, focusing. Of cause not everyone can focus for long time, it may got bored and brain stuck, can't progress. But focus more on work than personal stuffs is still the only way to have better work qualities.

During the old time, I used to pushed colleagues to do better and better, because I think this is what a friend shall do. But nowadays, no more. It doesn't worth for me to care much of others anymore, just be mind on my own business.

After 12 years with this company, it doesn't seem for me to grow any better anymore, everyone likes to be in comfort zone. Comfort zone always kills people softly in working life, till the day find out and it is too late.

Unfortunately, for software house, in this century, where speed and time bring opportunities. With the highest competition on going, where others come out products within week but months for us, I know this company will not move fast forward on growing. It may survive for couple of years, but don't expect much on bonus or raise of salary.

It shall be the time, shall be the time now.

Choice

When frustrations on work is beyond control, employees leave.

Am why am i still around

念。妳

想想想 念念念 妳妳妳

想念的 都是妳

思思思 念念念 妳妳妳

思念的 还是妳

倘若相思是病 愿为妳而病

为妳。灿烂

也许只有我在乎，只是我自恋，她都不在意这花存在与否。

第一次，见到这花开了这么多，有二十几朵。真希望那天她来上班时，有见到。这些花，是为她而开，为她灿烂。

我都希望她是第一个见到花开的人，就像我渴望早上起来，见到第一个的人，是她。也希望在她需要人陪伴时，需要人帮忙时，我是那个在她身边的人。

我渴望，我和她，一起灿烂，陪伴左右，走人生。

也许，都只是我自恋而已。

熱熱熱

最近天气熱，很熱，即使坐着不动，也会出汗。

晚上，靠着一把电风扇，睡觉。其实过了凌晨4点左右，都不熱了，都会自动起来把风扇关掉。

朋友们都好奇，没有冷气机，空调，怎么睡的着。

这个嘛，训练出来的。就是让自己，在任何的环境下，讓自己适应。不然有一天，这世界变了样，习惯舒服，就很难生存了。

闷熱，就是裸睡的好借口。

驚蟄。重生

驚蟄，万物惊醒，重生。

往年，到了阳历三月第一个星期，过了驚蟄，就会把头发剃光，意味着讓自己重生。

今年，感觉不一样，心里告诉自己，还不是时候剃光，要继续留。

这样也好，看自己有多能耐，训练自己。天气那么熱，头发长，如受不了，人就很容易烦躁。

可能过了清明节吧，才会剃掉。

Bunga Raya 大红花

This is very rare type of hibiscus, bunga raya. Somehow its seed flown to my house and grew itself. We saw it but we all just not really care, until a day I discovered it is family of hibiscus. Interesting as it is very different than all bunga  raya that I know and seen in Malaysia. 

And more interesting is, the colour changed when I plant it in front of office, it change to dark red. 

Data Visualizations

Data visualization. Learn from nature

《煎熬》

心一跳　爱就开始煎熬
每一分　每一秒
火在烧　烧成灰有多好
叫思念　不要吵

日子

忙忙的人生，却又茫茫。莽莽地过一日又一日，惶惶地看一天又天。

四十。遗憾

如果要說，我的人生到这个阶段还有什么遗憾，那就是爱情。

需要。重要

钱是需要，但不是重要。还有更多的事，比钱更重要。也不要因钱而迷失了自己

Monday . Training day

Monday, a blues day, not suitable to have training as well, especially got to woke at 6 morning and get out house at 30 minutes later.

Monday blues + moody + blur blur + tired + body aches....damn what a day

兄弟

男人和女人，即使是再好的朋友，即使或以兄弟相称，始终女人还是一个女人，男人还是一个男人。男人还是会对这好兄弟女人起色心，还是会发生关系。

妳

把妳写进文字里
把妳放在生活里
把妳挂在我心里
这已经习以为常
因为我是在乎妳
因为我喜欢了妳
因为时刻都想妳

Broken . Python . World Map

Was headache for few days, in solving a very simple problem of data visualization : refresh the data, update map and zoom to the particular map area.

Well, sound easy but first it kept getting "cannot insert level_0" error when refreshing data....solution, drop the index when unpack dataframe before go for next calculation. A simple solution , but wasted a day.

Then 2nd problem, when data was updated, based on selected country, the map should redraw and zoom to that country. Another day gone for this. The solution, don't set x_range and y_range at the initial stage, let it auto set.

Plot=figure()

So when update data

Def update(attractive, old, new):
    Plot.x_range = Range1d(min, max)
    Plot.y_range = Range1d(min,max)

It redraw the plot to new x and y range, this is how map is zoomed to specific area.

After reading hundreds of posts and comments on online resources, stackoveflow , only then came out the solutions. To focus on problem, also not a good thing to.

She was coughing in the morning . I heard, I worried. But again I was over thought, must be.

Beautiful Day Of You . Dissapointment Of Me

it was a thought of someday: maybe i can plant some flowers, so every time she comes to office and off-work, there are beautiful flowers welcoming her, making her a beautiful day.

so i did, after few months, flowers trees are tall and huge, but very very less flowers bloom. added flower-bloom fertilisers and, still a disappointment :(

haihhhhhh...things are not getting right, not getting right, what the hell wrong with me....

Sleepless

Sleepless nights, getting more and more often.

Too much things in mind.

I care

我把柑抛了给妳，我把心给了妳，妳会好好握着吗?

Every second is like a year to me, when not seeing you. Every moment is priceless, when knowing, feeling and near to you.

How are you doing? Are you alright today? Every day I see you, and every day I miss you. I can't stop myself.

I am just helpless in loving with you. But I can't disturb you, I don't want it become sexual harassment to you, and scare out of me.

There is no reason for not loving someone, but there is reason for not losing someone, and the reason is I care.

Happy valentine, happy every day to you.

It is love

You are, then, now, and always in my heart.

Tu vis dans mon coeur.

淡

天乌乌，无雨。
人凄凄，无语。
水清清，无鱼。

遇。见

那一天，遇见了自己。

往常的，在小摊打包晚餐。等待中，往一桌子看，见到了熟悉的影子，涌上心头的，是"那是我"。震撼!

萌生的，是恐惧和更多的恐惧。为什么那个我会在这里?为什么是在这时这刻?是不是有东西要告訴我，或暗示我?

也許，是未来的我来看以前的我。也許，是曾经的我来看未来的我。也許，那是另一个空间的我来看这空间的我。也許，很多的也許念头，涌在心头。

那个我，始终都没有抬起头来，只顾着继续享受晚餐。而我，没有想向前确认的欲望。准确的說，应该是，我。却。步。

我们相遇，但我们不相见。也許，这是那个我和我，最好的结局。

Finger Lime

Anaconda . Python

Anaconda package version 2018.12, 5.3.1 and 5.3.0 raise errors "cannot load mkl_intel_thread.dll" on window OS.

This killed me for 2 days to resolve it.

Lesson learnt, don't simply update packages.

Works is just works

上司要的不是你的眼泪，不是你说有多苦的过程，而是结果。把情绪放在家，带上脑袋和理性工作。

We all went thru the process of being fresh in works, complaining of works, complaining of superior not appreciate the hard works. I did that when I was fresh, till some day, don't know when, things changed.

When you are the one being managed and the one managing others, seeing things are in different angle.

Till the day come, we all understand.

可以吗

我想住进妳的心里，永恒的。

我想紧紧拥抱着妳，贪念着。

143 . I Miss You

A midnight, raining. Do you sleep well? If I couldn't have you with me, I wish I will see you in dream.

I know I will. Will you too?

Good night. You, in my heart.

农历。礼品

新春佳节要到了，又是买肉干的时候。

以前的我，会买肉干或佳节礼品送同事。后来发觉，其实同事都不在乎，又何必自己多此一举。

近几年，每年的新年，买肉干从五六百块，到现在接近千块。分量是买少了，东西却越来越贵了。

暂。美

花再美 也是短暂 也有凋零时

Beh tahan you

You got to stop the madness! What is wrong with you! She is just few steps away from your place, and you still thinking of her, missing her, wondering how is she doing?! She is doing fine, very fine, happily with colleagues. You got to stop it, go focus on your works, your life, your future. She doesn't need you or want you, ok! Can't you just wake up! I really beh tahan  you!

15 years

After 15 years, we met up again.

It was extremely tough time during that time, worked like hell, no day and night, slept in the office at night, then woke up in the morning next day just back to home to shower and then back to office to work.

It was crazier thing I had done, with another colleague, for couple of months or years, can't really remember.

He was our boss, based in Singapore ingenico, once a well visited us. He is talker, none stop talking things and jokes.

After 15 years, met him up again. He is still the same.

Memory, I don't remember much of the past, or the feelings of suffering or pains that had gone through, just piece of memories here and there.

What life is? It is what you have gone through that built you up to what you are on today.

Studburn

Works, most of the time, struggling on finding way to do it better, rather then doing it.

Just a studburn of me...to be better than me before.

写

有时 不会明白自己为什么会写或要写 但就是自然而然的写了。

不喜欢 夜
唤醒熟睡的情
不喜欢 夜
隐隐刺痛的思
不喜欢 夜
孤寂无助的静
不喜欢 夜
浩浩荡荡侵蚀

不 喜欢夜
痴痴迷迷陶醉
不 喜欢夜
切切实实有妳
不 喜欢夜
呵护着妳我愿
不 喜欢夜
有妳有我此生

死。爱

为妳写了诗
从此都想死
遇见震撼死
不见妳像死
想妳想到死
思念妳要死
渴望拥抱死
爱妳爱到死

1月15日，我记得这日子。

椅子

在他人的眼里 这只是不起眼的椅子
在一些人的眼里 这是充满回忆的

明天1月15日

Pointless

Half way of doing the appraisal, thinking the comments part, to put down complaint but what for, to write things that learnt but what for, to list down personal challenges but what for, to tell improvement of company but what for

Everything just meaningless when no one care and share.

Meaningless and emptiness life, without having you.

I am crazy again.

Appraiser

It is time to fill in work appraiser.

For the past years, all my appraiser were mellow.

This year, needs some different, from heart and telling the true.

What I have seen and how I felt about the working cultures, the productivities, the structures and the people.

Enough is enough

2019

2019年1月5日，农历十一月卅日，爸爸的祭日。

2019年1月6日，农历腊月初一，离己亥年新年还有一个月。

2019年，新的一年，只希望大家平平安安，健健康康，度过这一年。