伤

"I can't waste his time, but your time I can waste"

"He is so free that I got to find something for him to do"

....for many things boss said,  he just hints that I am useless to the company. 

relationships. ideas

"You got numbers of good ideas but they don't take it. Because you dont have good relationship with them."

A colleague told me that. 

1st I don't regret sharing ideas even no one want to take it. 

Second,  i am not losing anything if no one want to take the ideas. 

Thirdly,  if ideas only will be taken into consideration because of good relationship,  those colleagues and the company are both hopeless already. 

Again,  I am not losing anything.

Python . Question

How to run programs in GPU?

How to run programs in multi threading and multi processing?

How to switch between CPU and GPU?

Headache

Headache, 头痛的事。

CCTV, IP Cam, 1080p? 2MP? Onvif support?  Price?!!

Works, how to break each n-columns as a group and save as new row? Looping?

Move Forward

When there was problem and passed to support team to check, 2 hours later came back with explanation of "maybe because of the condition A that causing it does not work properly".

Well, 2 hours ago, it just took me 2 minutes verified that "condition A" wasn't the cause and it took 2 hours for someone to told me "maybe" it was the cause. What would I think?

Either the person thought that I was stupid or the person has work attitudes problem. 2-hour to only came out with "maybe" that I had already solved within 2 minutes?

Everyone can do his or her job well, it is matter of attitude. From time to time, I watch and evaluate people: who can be count on, who will try to fool me with excuses, who I don't put hope on that person. Everyone can't be the same, has different abilities and knowledges, but the work qualities are all depending to personal attitudes.

Some people tend to complain a lot, "so many things to do, how to multitasking!" But what fascinating is, ironically,  those people are multitasking personal stuffs at the same time while working, for long long hours. Umhhhh...can't multitasking?

The very basic and fundamental toward work qualities is, focusing. Of cause not everyone can focus for long time, it may got bored and brain stuck, can't progress. But focus more on work than personal stuffs is still the only way to have better work qualities.

During the old time, I used to pushed colleagues to do better and better, because I think this is what a friend shall do. But nowadays, no more. It doesn't worth for me to care much of others anymore, just be mind on my own business.

After 12 years with this company, it doesn't seem for me to grow any better anymore, everyone likes to be in comfort zone. Comfort zone always kills people softly in working life, till the day find out and it is too late.

Unfortunately, for software house, in this century, where speed and time bring opportunities. With the highest competition on going, where others come out products within week but months for us, I know this company will not move fast forward on growing. It may survive for couple of years, but don't expect much on bonus or raise of salary.

It shall be the time, shall be the time now.

Choice

When frustrations on work is beyond control, employees leave.

Am why am i still around

日子

忙忙的人生，却又茫茫。莽莽地过一日又一日，惶惶地看一天又天。

Monday . Training day

Monday, a blues day, not suitable to have training as well, especially got to woke at 6 morning and get out house at 30 minutes later.

Monday blues + moody + blur blur + tired + body aches....damn what a day

15 years

After 15 years, we met up again.

It was extremely tough time during that time, worked like hell, no day and night, slept in the office at night, then woke up in the morning next day just back to home to shower and then back to office to work.

It was crazier thing I had done, with another colleague, for couple of months or years, can't really remember.

He was our boss, based in Singapore ingenico, once a well visited us. He is talker, none stop talking things and jokes.

After 15 years, met him up again. He is still the same.

Memory, I don't remember much of the past, or the feelings of suffering or pains that had gone through, just piece of memories here and there.

What life is? It is what you have gone through that built you up to what you are on today.

Studburn

Works, most of the time, struggling on finding way to do it better, rather then doing it.

Just a studburn of me...to be better than me before.

Appraiser

It is time to fill in work appraiser.

For the past years, all my appraiser were mellow.

This year, needs some different, from heart and telling the true.

What I have seen and how I felt about the working cultures, the productivities, the structures and the people.

Enough is enough

Fascinating . Training

One of the interesting feedback I got, always, during training to customers on company software solutions is : This is not what we want!

Fascinating! Always fascinating!

Either the sales person was bluffing about the solutions, or the customers do not really know what they want.

Ready made solutions are presented as it is to customers during initial inquiry. Further requirements were gathered beforehand to customise the solutions suit to customers needs.  

But still, during training of the solutions prior to launching, always got surprised feedback, like the one mentioned, like the solutions should do the other ways, like why the solutions do this way, et cetera.

After many experiences, nowadays I only can advise customers, do check with the in charge person on the requirements. I only do training based on the solutions features.

沉。默

从来，解释是累人的，尤其是对我而言。不善于表达，想把事情解释清楚，只会越来越糟。

后来就越来越不去解释了，做认为对的，对大家都有益处的，即使他人误会了，也不想去理了。

理解我的人都知道我不自私的，都常常为他人着想，以多数人的利益为主。有时的却是累了自己，还要给他人嫌弃，觉得自己为何要那么辛苦那么笨。

所以啊做自己想做的事，认为是对的事。直到有一天觉得自己不被需要了，那就往其他地方去，其他需要我的地方或工作去。

Breaking Down

I am still learning throughout my life, just sometime a bit frustrated when things didn't go as expected.

After all this time in my life, reached my age, I know very well that I am slow learner. Just that sometime wants to resolve things quickly, especially about work, brain is just like not functioning at all.

Can't do much, except keep trying, try and error to find the solution, even it takes time.

Pas à pas, on va loin

Boss . Me

Below is common conversation between me and boss.

Boss:"So, how is your side?"
Me:"OK."

Yap, it is always short answer and boss looks at me like:can you tell me more. But sorry, that is my answer.

For 9 years working with him, I am always taking the initiative to solve problems, most the time are on my own to find the solution.

Why? Because I am trained to be on my own feet.

From the beginning that boss was not comfortable with my answer, until now boss knows got nothing to worry when things are passed to me.

I am happy to be what I am now, just sometimes feel lonely to be on my own feet too often.